Alone
by spendeonswithyou
Summary: Just angsty Bellarke two-shot, takes place after 2x16.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So I decided to wirte a Bellarke one-shot, maybe I'll continue it but I'm not sure now. English is not my first language, so tell me about any mistakes. Enjoy!**

She ran as fast as she could, yet still careful to not make any sound by stepping some stick or anything else. She just spotted few Grounders not so far away from where she has been hunting, so she decided to escape, to avoid any confrontaction.

The Grounders she saw were from Lexa's tribe, or at least she recognized them this way because of their appearance. And, after Lexa's betrayal, seeing her or anyone who could drag Clarke to her, was the last thing she would ever want. That's why she ran.

After few minutes, she had finally reached the bunker she has been hiding in for last two weeks since she left her camp, Camp Jaha. The bunker was situated about fifteen minutes of walking from their old dropship. No one from her friends knew about it, she just spotted it randomly. Since then, she was living there.

Sometimes she wondered why she didn't go to any place that's far away from her camp. Maybe she was just not strong enough to let go, so she stayed somewhere near. No one would go looking for her anyway, so there was no problem. And maybe one day she will leave this place and go somewhere else, somewhere where the past won't finally haunt her.

Only she knew that it will never stop haunting her. Even if her hands were clean, she could still see the blood on them. Every single time she closed her eyes, she would see the faces of all the people she had killed. It would never leave her alone.

She missed her friends, the remainings of the hundred of them. They were on her mind almost all the time. How were they? How is the camp? She wished she could see them again, but she knew it would only make things worse. And maybe it was selfish, that she left them there alone. But she trusted, that Bellamy will take good care of all of them. She knew he would, because he cared about all of them the way she did.

And she missed Bellamy as well. The way he would always somehow support her, the way she could talk to him. But she was afraid that - if she stayed - she would destroy him, as she always does with everyone she cares about.

She sat on her bed as she ate what she considered as a dinner. It was just a small piece of meat and a few berries, but that should be enough for this moment. She will worry about it later. After she finished, she layed down on a blanked that had to serve her as a bed.

She avoided sleep as much as she could, because there were always nightmares haunting her. She wanted to get rid of them, but she knew that it was impossble. Even though she slept only for a few hours once or twice a week, it was still terrible.

And now, as she layed down, she just couldn't help but close her eyes and drift into sleep, even if she really didn't want to do so.

 _Whispers. So many whispers around her._

 _Voices, that go everywhere with her._

 _Eyes, staring at her, letting her know, that she is not alone in this moment._

 _She was surrounded by people. Some of them were Grounders, some of them were Mountain Man._

 _She killed them._

 _Every single one of them._

 _"It's your fault" she heard._

 _"Everything is your fault."_

 _"You don't deserve forgiveness."_

 _Then, she saw Finn, coming to her, looking straight at her._

 _"You killed me" he said, his voice filled with hatred. "You killed me" he repeated._

 _"You killed all of us!"_

 _"It's your fault, all of this is your fault!"_

 _"You don't deserve to live!"_

 _She fell to her knees, wanting to scream, but no sound escaped her mounth. Instead, hundreds of voices pierced through her head._

 _In this moment, all she wanted was to die._

She woke up screaming, her skin covered with sweat. She tried to regulate her breathing as she sat up, still in the shock after another nightmare. Each one of them was worse then last, nothing got better.

Clarke brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She closed her eyes and hid her face in her knees, feeling the tears fill her eyes. She had let herself cry, the sobs shaking her body violently.

She was completely alone, and nothing could help it.

* * *

Bellamy Blake should be happy. Really, he should.

He and the remainings of the hundred were in the Camp Jaha now. They won, the fight was over, there were no Reapers or Mountain Man to kill them, and the Grounders were nowhere to be seen - at least for now. Live wjust continued, everyone seemed to be happy.

Except from him, though he should be happy too. He managed to keep almost half of his people alive, he had his friends with him, his sister was okay.

But there was only one person missing. Clarke.

When she left, he realized how much he cared about her. How much he wanted her to be next to him. He understood why she had to left, but he still thought, that she didn't have to do it alone. They could fight their demons together. But she needed to be alone, to isolate herself, and he respected her decision. Even though he missed her as hell.

 _May we meet again._ He considered these words as some kind of promise that one day she will come back. That he will see her again sometime. And he knew one thing - he would always wait for her.

 _Take care of them for me._ He did, he did what she asked him for. He expanded their camp, starting from making the med bay bigger. And he always checked if his- if their people were okay. He wanted to keep his promise, so when she will come back, she will see that everything is better than it used to be.

But, still, he missed her every single day. He needed someone who understood him the way only she did. He wanted to have her near, to be able to talk to her anytime.

And he knew that she was broken, but he felt like that as well. Maybe, together, they could somehow mend each other, heal their wounds.

Sometimes, even though he was surrounded by so many people, he felt alone. He felt alone, because there was just one person missing from his life. The person that right now he needed the most.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! So I decided to post the second part, but I guess that I'll leave this story as a two-shot now. Once again, sorry for any mistakes. I'm not sure if I like the way it turned out, but, anyway, here you are!**

He woke up before the sunrise, the way he always did. It was really early in the morning, and - as for another hour or two - he was the only one awake in the whole Camp Jaha.

He liked this feeling, to get up so early and to not have anyone's company for a while. On the mornings like this, when the sky was almost cloudless, he would always sit on a small hill nearby and watch the sunrise.

It was nice, to see the sky fill with colors, only to turn completely blue after some time. It was his favourite time of the day, when he could sit there in the silence, uninterputted by anyone. It was the time when he was left alone to his thoughts. He could just think about everything, watching the Earth all around him.

And, as always, his thoughts would drift to Clarke. He was wondering how she was. Was she okay, alive? Where was she? He could realize that he needed her, more than he thought he ever would. And, even though some people told him to move on, he would still hope for her to return.

But, this morning, he thought about something a little bit different. If she hadn't gone too far away, there may be a chance to find her. And if he could find her, maybe he could convince her to stay, tell her all the things he wanted to say, but had no chance to. The thought of seeing her again seemed amazing for him, really.

So he decided, that he will go and look for her. Maybe, just maybe, he will find her. Even though it was probably just giving himself a false hope, it was better than sitting there and doing nothing at all. Well, she could be practically everywhere - but he still felt the need to go after her.

He started the next morning. He got up even earlier than usual, brought his gun with him and left the camp when the moon still shone. The first place he wanted to check was the dropship. Maybe there were many painful memories connected with this particular place, but he could still go there anyway.

On the first day, he found nothing. On the next days, he checked some of the outskirts of the dropship, just to be sure. He had been looking for her for over a week, yet he had seen no sign of her. But he clung to this hope, even if finding her was becoming more impossible every day.

Then, he thought that she might be hiding in some bunker. They usually had a good locaction and Clarke was smart, so it was likely for her to be in a place like that.

After five days of visiting every bunker he could memorize, he found one that was hidden better than the rest. The entrance was covered with leaves and he would never find it if he wouldn't accidentaly trip over it.

And who would hide an entrance to bunker so well? His heart suddenly started beating fast, his chest felt tight. When he tried to open it, the gate would remain still. And that could mean only one thing, because those bunkers could be locked only from the inside.

"Clarke?" he yelled, hoping she was there. Maybe there was a chance…

* * *

"Clarke, please, can you open?" she heard his voice calling her for the second time.

When she heard Bellamy outside her bunker, something inside her melted a little. Out of all of the people he was the one she missed the most and now she was debating with herself on whetever to let him in or no.

Finally, she decided to open the entrance. When she did, the first thing she saw was his face. He seemed worried, his eyes filled with hope. It seemed almost like he was looking for her. She left the bunker, climbing up the ladder.

After she finally stood on the ground, he immediately pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around him as well, thousands of feelings rushing at her in one second. She knew she shouldn't do it, but it was stronger than her, this sudden need to be close to Bellamy.

"Clarke" he whispered, hiding his face in her hair. "I can't believe I found you."

"You were looking for me?" she asked, not pulling away.

"Well, I could not just sit there, wondering if you were alive" he said.

"But why? Why would you even wonder? You shouldn't come here"

"I missed you." he spoke quietly.

"Bellamy, please, don't-"

"Why? I really did. I missed you so much since you've left, and I need you to come back with me, Clarke"

"Don't say it to me, because it will be even harder to let go" she said. "You know I can't come back to the camp."

"You can, Clarke, please! I know it's hard, but maybe together we will find a way out. We can get through it all, you don't have to carry this burden alone."

"But I've done things that are unforgivable. I don't deserve any of this, I don't deserve friends, happiness. I really don't."

"Clarke, look at me" he said, looking deep into her eyes, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I know exactly what you did. And, even after all of these, I'm still here. I'm still here for you, and I still love you more than I could ever think I would. I know you need someone to help you, and, please, don't push me away."

It seemed as if her heart stopped for a moment when he said it.

"Please, stay" he whispered, and he sounded so broken, that Clarke just couldn't leave him again, she knew they somehow needed each other. She looked at him, making her final decision, and then she leaned it and gently brushed her lips over his.

"Okay" she said quietly. "I will stay."

She could see his eyes fill with relief.

"That's good. Because I'm not planning on letting you go. You are not getting away from me, never again."

"I won't. And, Bellamy?" she said, and he looked at her in question.

"I love you too" she whispered, and then he pulled her into another hug. She let herself relax, listening to his heartbeat. Maybe the were both broken, but, somehow, they will find a way to fix each other again.


End file.
